Acaciapsilohuasca and Meditation/Isolation Tank

T+0 min: Consume 3 grams of syrian rue seeds with juice, and wait for it to hit my stomach. I anticipate the nausea about on time, and go to the toilet and pass the last meal I have in my bowels. I now settle with the nausea of the syrian rue and smoke cannabis while it slowly works its way through my system. I perform about 20 minutes of yoga, watching dust motes and mild tracers appear across my field of vision, typical effects of cannabis and syrian rue. The Warrior 1 and 2 poses with sun reaching massaged my innards nicely, mediating the nausea and preparing me to consume the rest of my package.

T+60 min: Begin to drink 3g acacia tea and 1g of psilocybin mushrooms. While consuming this, I draw a bath and prepare the room for Isolation Tank work. The yoga has settled my stomach and root chakra regions, and my lung and heart chakras are nice and pumped from smoking. Warm tingles rise and fall with my breath and concentration, the more I focus on my perceptions, the more tingly I feel. The more distracted I get, the less good I feel. This is probably an indication of how Happiness can only be created internally for the self, otherwise you would have to take it from elsewhere, causing a vacuum of negative energy or bad karma or w/e. I find when I meditate and get really in the zone, I use this feeling, rather than my breath as the cornerstone of my focus. Its the feeling you get right before all the hair stands up on your body, the chill before the goosebumps, that wonderful feeling that encompasses the entire body while holding in an enormous breath of air.

T+90 min: I enter the isolation tank, and start to clear my mind. Images very similar to a man seated and meditating, surrounded by a tree of life and it rising and falling with lights slowly arose out of the darkness, and I continue to focus on full, deep breaths. That seems to be the key to good hallucinations and sensations, you just have to breath deep the entire time. Once your body gets used to the change in oxygen levels, you begin to trip really hard. Isolation tank work is always very wild, I always get to the building blocks of my consciousness rather than anything particular about my life. None of the traumas I know I've suppressed or anything, since I'm fairly certain I've let go of most of them, but the building blocks in my consciousness that they have affected. This is very useful, since I can see which behaviors have a basis in the things I dislike about people. It helps me curb it in myself, which seems keep the other people from exhibiting the negative behaviors as strongly. Usually people act in a way when confronted by something similar, and use the negative reaction to defend themselves. Still, personal responsibility dictates both have a responsibility to temper their reactions.

T+150 min: Dry off and go back to my room and put on music. Smoke more cannabis. Meditate further. Like the ancient ideal of morals, there are three sides of the battle, three sides of each tale, three solutions or options to each situation. We are faced with the options to perform our normal function and help others, while maintaining one's own safety and not exerting excessive amounts of effort, to not help the other for it will lead to harming one's self, or to go above and beyond one's duty and outperform your normal functions. Good, bad, and Uber. God, Satan and Jesus, almost. You can have a set of rules upon which you function, in hopes it is good, and constantly refine the system upon which things operate under. You can have an set of punishments, in hopes they will prevent those from doing these unfortunate actions. Or we can maintain a vigil and attain a level of consciousness where we do not wish to ever perform bad deeds, to only achieve for thy fellow man, to have such a duty to state and family that one acts purely selfishly and selflessly, for a truly powerful person has an understanding that he must make others happy to become happy himself. Ubermensh, Superman, Spartan, whatever you wish to call this person, who has forsaken material possessions, yet maintains a fine edge for with which to destroy all that seeks to destroy the beautiful world he wishes to exist in, and for it to exist for others to appreciate. It's that voice in the back of your head that tells you to go a little bit further, a little bit harder, a little bit longer. Achieve things that no one you know has done.

No one you know, for you only know yourself. One's inner world is the platform upon which they confront the outside world, and if one's platform is weak or filled with clutter, rather than having been built up with hours and hours of effort and pain and sweat and focus into a fortress from where you can defeat any challenge in front of you. One must put effort into their mind, their body and their spirit. And hone the edge of the blade, until the end. When Death finds you, may he find you alive.

More Ayahuasca or Oral DMT, I dunno.

I was given a very tall cup of Syrian Rue tea and a very wide mug of Acacia Confusa tea upon arriving home last night, and was asked to test the concoction by it's brewer, who drank some earlier and purged four times. I decide to partake on this journey, but very slowly and to experience all the effects of each long pull from the cups. This will be my nonthreshold dose experience, since I had a failed one earlier in the year. What ensues is a quite intense battle of will with my material possessions, quite similar to what is described in Armageddon, Ragnarok, Bhagavad-Gita's eternal battle, etc etc etc.

T:0 - I begin drinking from the cup of rue, while contemplating the cannabis high I am riding from coming home. I notice that if I accept the flavor and not ignore it, it doesn't taste that bad. If I completely ignore the flavor, its no big deal, my stomach has to deal with it.  We did an egg wash to remove some tannins and whatnot, so it was much better than each time I've made rue tea. I also added grape juice, sugar and a dash of lemon for acidity to absorb better. Tracers begin to pop up, a general brightening of awareness has occurred, and I realize that ayahuasca is the MAOI trip, with the Ayahuasca Vine. It is just used as a term to standardize it, and people often mistake the different experiences one might have. Ayahuasca requires a purge to breakthrough. Making your own experience can allow you to remain in this realm and use the nausea and resistance of the present moment to help develop an Iron Will.

T+60 min - I begin drinking from the cup of acacia tea, and as it sets in, my feelings from earlier have been confirmed, and it begins to amplify all the feelings I am experiencing. Nausea builds, the feelings in my gut start to build, and I realize that if I resist, my body will just begin to shit and vomit without my consent. If I drink enough, and absorb it, and then throw up, I can reach a breakthrough experience. With my first trip, I didn't allow my body to absorb all 50mg of DMT required to achieve the levels of imagery I had wanted, but the more perfect my mirror, the less I will see. Smoking DMT is how I will see stuff if I really wanna see stuff. I wanna make myself into the best person I can be, and I now realize this in it's entirety. Urges and temptations to deviate from your force of will arise from the body, for unless you are literally dying, you can do this thing at another time. While you are on ayahuasca, you notice this, for you must cling to the present moment to not fly out there and be smeared across the cosmos for an immeasurable amount of time.

For most, this is the goal, but they tend not to notice that they are inside of themselves, in their inner world. They are the conduit of experience, combining their realm of Reason, probably like 7th or 8th dimensional or chakral or whatever with their realm of Animals, 4th dimensional or stomach chakra or whatever you wanna call it. 12th dimensional or however far String Theory or whatever you wanna call it has gone is just The Entire Equation. We are conduits for a certain level of this equation, the Potentiometer with our finite qualities to explore the infinite arrangements that Imperfect, Self-Replicating, Self-Correcting Universe they are in.

When one undergoes extreme physical duress, one can finally understand their body is their only Physical Possession, and the feelings it provides arise from the things you force it to undergo. One must shed their material possessions to achieve true happiness, even if it only exists in the present moment for this is all that you have left, once you've used up all your material possessions. Appreciation is love, for one loves themselves. Want is lust, for one wants others for themselves, misunderstanding that all is one. God either created everything so we all should love each other, or there is no god and all we have is our love for each other. The body is merely the vehicle for which you apply your willpower, which is merely a collection of all your experiences and all the possibilities surrounding those that your brain can hold. All of these things are finite, other than the infinite arrangement it can be put into.

As above, so below. You're a faggot, case closed.

T+120 min: Finished applying my will to my physical body, and then relinquished it and slept.