T:0 - I begin drinking from the cup of rue, while contemplating the cannabis high I am riding from coming home. I notice that if I accept the flavor and not ignore it, it doesn't taste that bad. If I completely ignore the flavor, its no big deal, my stomach has to deal with it. We did an egg wash to remove some tannins and whatnot, so it was much better than each time I've made rue tea. I also added grape juice, sugar and a dash of lemon for acidity to absorb better. Tracers begin to pop up, a general brightening of awareness has occurred, and I realize that ayahuasca is the MAOI trip, with the Ayahuasca Vine. It is just used as a term to standardize it, and people often mistake the different experiences one might have. Ayahuasca requires a purge to breakthrough. Making your own experience can allow you to remain in this realm and use the nausea and resistance of the present moment to help develop an Iron Will.
T+60 min - I begin drinking from the cup of acacia tea, and as it sets in, my feelings from earlier have been confirmed, and it begins to amplify all the feelings I am experiencing. Nausea builds, the feelings in my gut start to build, and I realize that if I resist, my body will just begin to shit and vomit without my consent. If I drink enough, and absorb it, and then throw up, I can reach a breakthrough experience. With my first trip, I didn't allow my body to absorb all 50mg of DMT required to achieve the levels of imagery I had wanted, but the more perfect my mirror, the less I will see. Smoking DMT is how I will see stuff if I really wanna see stuff. I wanna make myself into the best person I can be, and I now realize this in it's entirety. Urges and temptations to deviate from your force of will arise from the body, for unless you are literally dying, you can do this thing at another time. While you are on ayahuasca, you notice this, for you must cling to the present moment to not fly out there and be smeared across the cosmos for an immeasurable amount of time.
For most, this is the goal, but they tend not to notice that they are inside of themselves, in their inner world. They are the conduit of experience, combining their realm of Reason, probably like 7th or 8th dimensional or chakral or whatever with their realm of Animals, 4th dimensional or stomach chakra or whatever you wanna call it. 12th dimensional or however far String Theory or whatever you wanna call it has gone is just The Entire Equation. We are conduits for a certain level of this equation, the Potentiometer with our finite qualities to explore the infinite arrangements that Imperfect, Self-Replicating, Self-Correcting Universe they are in.
When one undergoes extreme physical duress, one can finally understand their body is their only Physical Possession, and the feelings it provides arise from the things you force it to undergo. One must shed their material possessions to achieve true happiness, even if it only exists in the present moment for this is all that you have left, once you've used up all your material possessions. Appreciation is love, for one loves themselves. Want is lust, for one wants others for themselves, misunderstanding that all is one. God either created everything so we all should love each other, or there is no god and all we have is our love for each other. The body is merely the vehicle for which you apply your willpower, which is merely a collection of all your experiences and all the possibilities surrounding those that your brain can hold. All of these things are finite, other than the infinite arrangement it can be put into.
As above, so below. You're a faggot, case closed.
T+120 min: Finished applying my will to my physical body, and then relinquished it and slept.
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