Ayahuasca

T-45 min: 5 grams of rainbow tree root bark were crushed and simmered in 8 oz of water, ginger, lime juice, kava tea.

T-45 min: 5 grams of syrian rue seeds were boiled on a low simmer in 8 oz of water, ginger, lime juice, kava tea.

T+0: So, three of us consume the rue, and wait for it to kick in.

T+45 min: I consume the acacia, and my friends put in their LSD sugar cubes.

T+60 min: in the bathroom, purged. Followed 30 min of intro into dmt space, like 20-30 mg smoked experience, mild entities in the shapes of my ancestors, most likely making sure I do the name proud.

T+90 min: Then 2 hours of the most horrifyingly vivid bad trip imagery ever. All super personal and created by my own psyche, not implanted badly by another substance. Worst imaginable things you could ever see. And myself was all, "LOOK AT IT BITCH! Accept the good with the bad, and rid yourself of feelings that experiences you can receive can even be good or bad." That your past can in no way ever affect you, for if it were, it would affect you in the present moment. You yourself is the only obstacle to not feeling bad about your past.And as the imagery presented itself to me, I was able to release it from myself, and it all came out w/ a river of black sludge wildness. The purge is you releasing yourself from your past, and the bad tripping is you appreciating reality, for you had just entered the worst reality your psyche could experience. Its really intense and cathartic.

T+12 hours: After all the imagery (4 hrs of hallucinations), I entered a state of extreme mindfulness, able to conclude all my thoughts and maintain a stillness of mind that usually takes 15 min of meditation to achieve, and for only short periods of time. Instead of the usual Woo-woo of psychedelics where everything melts and warps, nothing shifted. Instead, everything just seemed WAY more vivid and bright and wonderful. You can appreciate normal things much more, for you realize everything is normal and different, which makes it all the same.


THE PURGE: My thoughts on the purge align with the old shamanic idea about the purge; definitely a must, at least once. It seems as though the ayahuasca is trying to isolate you with yourself, by purging any foreign substances you would have inside of you. This gets rid of a bunch of toxins, any food you would have in you, and any water you haven't already absorbed. Then, uses DMT, a substance your brain creates, to trip you out on everything you have ever done. Forcing you to accept your past, and to accept yourself for what you are, for this is the first time in a long time you've finally been able to separate yourself from the outside world. You enter the internal world, your mind, and you work out. But you have to remove all the bullshit and lies you tell yourself to get through the day, which is what the medicine does. It forces you to realize you're not as important as you thought. Everyone has it in their heads that they're really the most important person out there, they're the best, the universe is on their side. But that's complete bullshit, literally no one else in the universe agrees with you, cuz they think the same thing. And the ayahuasca fucks that idea up so hard.

Not purging is a sign you wish to control something in the trip. You cannot control everything in the world, why do you need to control this thing? Cuz YOU experience it? Sucks for you, you don't experience any of the other suffering in the world. Ever take that into consideration? Well, now you will. And ayahuasca forces you to consider this, to it's extremes. You see everything you've ever done to other people from their point of view. You see yourself for the asshole others see you as. And you hate it. You fucking hate it, so your paradigm shifts and you want to change that so badly. That's the ayahuasca experience. It's integral to the purge and the purge is integral to the trip.